People always want to get close
But I'm too scared to let them in
When my name is called, I want another dose
To disappear and live with my joyful sin
I'm scared of the happiness they own
When my brightest day is as dark as night
I am burnt by the love they have shown
The fire is lit but I see no light
I hide who I am behind all my rage
Call me a coward, I won't stop you
For most of my life I have kept my heart in a cage
There were always people around but I never knew
I am faceless, one of the unknown
My only friend is pure dark hate
I put everyone I see onto a throne
It seems that is doomed to be my fate
Please burn me with that fire
Because I have never felt any pain
Don't even dare call me a liar
The truth is I am just insane
I have been in the dark for too long
There is no one to save me from my trouble
Just block out my cries with another song
Carry on living your perfect life in your tiny bubble
There is nothing more for me to learn
So I will just stand and study every face
All I can do is just wait for my turn
And control things at my own pace
When I am seen, everyone tries to hide
As if they are scared that I am going to bite
I look at them and they look off to the side
Can't they see I have no desire to fight?
I hate the person I have become
I am tired of people fearing me
I just want love but no one will give me some
To slay the monster and set me free
Everyday I have to force a smile
Have to pretend that I care
My life is just another page in a file
There is nothing left for me anywhere
I live in my very own piece of hell
I wish I could spread my wings and fly away
To escape before I fall under another spell
Before I am seen and forced to stay
It feels like I am blind
I look around and see nothing that makes me happy
Nothing to make my body and soul bind
This just might be the end of me
All I ever wanted was to make you proud
All I ever needed was to feel your love
©Josh West
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