Fire of Indecision

Doubt in myself leads the way

Insecurities carved in stone

Not sure of the truth in what others say

Thanking them for their care, their kindness unknown

Will I ever stop tearing myself down everyday?

In my mind, thoughts always churn

Am I good enough? Will I ever be?

Maybe I should wait for fate to take another turn

Am I smart enough? Will I ever be?

The fire of indecision, am I going to burn?

Making choices is a chore, which way to go?

Afraid to choose, if I am wrong I can't restart like a game

Doubt, choices, chilling my blood and making my brain slow

Picking wrong would be bad, if I don't, will I stay the same?

Or will I be changed like a feather by a careless blow?

If right or wrong, will I survive?

My heart says yes, my brain strongly disagrees

If I go down, is there anyone who will revive?

All I want is to be truly me

But isn't that like taking a blindfolded, head first dive?

I know that feeling this makes me a coward

Each day facing the world feeling listless

Not ready to move when over me shadows have towered

Afraid to move even though I am in a bath of souring piss

How can I go on while feeling less empowered?

So if you see me in a corner weeping

I have a choice to make, please make my choice

Because through my eyes, my courage is leaking

So please choose and give my cowardness a voice

Will you stand by me when the choice starts reaping?

©Josh West